Mood: Sad

Chinese believe that there are two worlds – yangjian, the world where we live; and yinjian, the world populated by former lives.
In yinjian, or the underground world, the deceased follow existences similar to the living. There, they need money, houses, and daily necessities. Of course it’s an imaginary world that no one has ever seen, but the living believe that this world has the same requirements as the one that we populate.
Many people believe that by burning paper replicas of things (such as paper cars, paper houses, or paper money), their ancestors in the next world receive the gift and will be able to make use of it.

I cried several times today…..
I even cried when I was talking on the phone . (or rather trying to talk….) I don’t know what’s the matter with me today.

I guess I’ve been thinking way too much today, ever since I saw what my mum bought for my 3rd little sister. The latter died so many years ago when she was only a few weeks old. I don’t remember what she looked like. I was only four years old after all but I remember looking at her and her twin (my youngest sister) and thinking that she was adorable.

Mum has bought paper replicas of clothes, a mobile phone, some jewellery and money to burn for her. I cried for the sister I never got to know, whose face I hardly remember. I cried because she didn’t get to live. I realise that I take so many things in my life for granted. I have complained so many times but now that I think about it, I have been pretty lucky. She didn’t get to live, to enjoy her life, to grow up.. Every time I look at my youngest sister, I remember that I used to have another sister, identical to this one. I wonder how she would have been, her personality, her likes,her dislikes.

Note: This entry has been imported from my old online journal where I was writing way before I got my personal domains. The date of the entry as well as the content are exactly the same as before but the old comments won’t be moved here.

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